The following positions are up for grabs in spite of the great economic recession. If interested, please do apply.
Location : Australia ( for 5- 7 months in a year), Rest of the World ( rest of the year).
Remmuneration : As per terms of contract. Bonus and bounties depending on individual and team performance.
Merits : Stardom in no time, early retirement, tours all over the globe, license to abuse without having the fear of getting punished.
Demerits : High chances of injury, one bad performance can cost your job.
Vacant Job positions offered
1.Opening batsman ( Should have seen a cricket bat atleast 3 times in life. Minimum Height : 6 ft 5 inches. .Weight : 150 kgs.).
2. Wicketkeeper ( Would be directly appointed as vice captain. Freshers are invited. We are looking at a long term perspective you see. Must know the art of how to ACT like a gentleman.)
3. All Rounder ( Should know how to tell lies and instigate the opponent team members. Preference will be given for those who are willing to change the hairstyle once an hour. Knowledge of fishing will be appreciated).
4. Leg Spin Bowler ( Should have previous experience with drugs, match fixing, scandals . Also he should have a supporting mother to take the blame while using drugs).
5. Pace Bowler ( Should know how to swear and sledge . Height – 6 ft 3 inches)
Also one vital position which we have not offered now is a middle order batsman who has to lead the troupe. He should have all the above mentioned good virtues of his team members . The position is currently occupied and would be open for application within next 3 months.
Age no bar.
No interviews / tests . Admission on First Come, First Serve Basis. ( Please apply fast as international rules require 11 team members or we would be disqualified ).
In case the positions are not filled in the next few days, we are planning to dig the graves across the country and request legends to come out in quest of the triple digit average ! ! !
All the best for a successful future!!!
PS : None of these positions are open to Indians or Srilankans !!!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
The way back home
Location : Mumbai
Scene : Me looking for a mode of transport to go back to the hotel from clients place.
What next : Wow !! There comes the chota Fiat Padmini. Black colour with yellow shade on top.The driver invites me inside with a wide smile, switches on the meter and there I go around the commercial capital of India !!!
Location : Chennai
Scene 1 : Me looking for a mode of transport to go back home from a far away client place.
What next : There comes the MRTS train. I get a comfortable seat near the window. In 15 minutes time, I get down at Mylapore station ,walk for 5 minutes and its home, sweet home.
Scene 2 : Gave my bike for servicing in the morning. Have to go to the service centre to pick up my bike.
What next : I stand in the lane beneath my office and think of an auto. There comes a queue of autos. The auto wala quotes a sky high fare. I cut it down straight 30 %. There are 5-6 rounds of negotiations before fixing on the final fare. The auto travels through the narrowest of the lanes, between buses, jumps all signal and what not. Wright brothers would repent for having invented an airplane and not an auto!!! I reach the service centre in no time. Thanks Auto Sir !!!
Location- ?????
Scene : Me looking for a mode of transport to go back home from office. The place is around 30 mins walk from home . ( I am too tired to walk all the way).
What next: First, I wait in the road for 30 – 45 mins hoping for a taxi. Lots of taxis pass by . Most of them are occupied. Few are not. And those few refuse to stop too ( Please don’t ask me why as I myself fail to understand it). I have heard “ Patience is virtue”. Now it’s the time to experience it. There comes a big red bus. I get into it not knowing where I am heading to. I travel for the next half an hour. I reach some unknown place . I see the area quite congested. So hoping to get a taxi there, I get down. The wait doesn’t seem to get over. I wait again for 30 mins . Lots of taxi’s go as usual without stopping. I wish I had wings to fly back home. Finally, I get one taxi. I barge into the car and tell him – “ Near Standard Chartered Bank” . He gives me a stare and shouts “ Traffic jyadha hoga abhi” ( There will be heavy traffic at this time). The car turns into a snail . I take a nap. Finally I reach my home after 25-30 mins time.. Oooffff !!!!
Everyday morning my prayer begins like this – “ Oh my lord, send me a taxi”.
And just if you are wondering where this ????? is,
WELCOME TO DUBAI !!!
Scene : Me looking for a mode of transport to go back to the hotel from clients place.
What next : Wow !! There comes the chota Fiat Padmini. Black colour with yellow shade on top.The driver invites me inside with a wide smile, switches on the meter and there I go around the commercial capital of India !!!
Location : Chennai
Scene 1 : Me looking for a mode of transport to go back home from a far away client place.
What next : There comes the MRTS train. I get a comfortable seat near the window. In 15 minutes time, I get down at Mylapore station ,walk for 5 minutes and its home, sweet home.
Scene 2 : Gave my bike for servicing in the morning. Have to go to the service centre to pick up my bike.
What next : I stand in the lane beneath my office and think of an auto. There comes a queue of autos. The auto wala quotes a sky high fare. I cut it down straight 30 %. There are 5-6 rounds of negotiations before fixing on the final fare. The auto travels through the narrowest of the lanes, between buses, jumps all signal and what not. Wright brothers would repent for having invented an airplane and not an auto!!! I reach the service centre in no time. Thanks Auto Sir !!!
Location- ?????
Scene : Me looking for a mode of transport to go back home from office. The place is around 30 mins walk from home . ( I am too tired to walk all the way).
What next: First, I wait in the road for 30 – 45 mins hoping for a taxi. Lots of taxis pass by . Most of them are occupied. Few are not. And those few refuse to stop too ( Please don’t ask me why as I myself fail to understand it). I have heard “ Patience is virtue”. Now it’s the time to experience it. There comes a big red bus. I get into it not knowing where I am heading to. I travel for the next half an hour. I reach some unknown place . I see the area quite congested. So hoping to get a taxi there, I get down. The wait doesn’t seem to get over. I wait again for 30 mins . Lots of taxi’s go as usual without stopping. I wish I had wings to fly back home. Finally, I get one taxi. I barge into the car and tell him – “ Near Standard Chartered Bank” . He gives me a stare and shouts “ Traffic jyadha hoga abhi” ( There will be heavy traffic at this time). The car turns into a snail . I take a nap. Finally I reach my home after 25-30 mins time.. Oooffff !!!!
Everyday morning my prayer begins like this – “ Oh my lord, send me a taxi”.
And just if you are wondering where this ????? is,
WELCOME TO DUBAI !!!
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Rab Ne Bana De Movie
Most of the Bollywood movies are made in India. Few are shot abroad. But its quite a rarity for a movie to be made in heaven . One such movie that I happened to see recently is RAB NE BANA DE JODI.
Star cast
King Khan ( I recommend all the Hollywood stars to watch this movie and learn what is the meaning of acting).
Anushka Sharma – A pretty 19 year old girl who has acted so well that it looks as though she has been acting for the past so many years. A great future is in the offing for this young girl.
Story line – A simpleton from Punjab marries, by circumstances, a girl who has lost her loved one . His love for her does not get reciprocated as the girl no more believes in love .The story is all about, to what extent the man goes to make his wife happy and eventually win her love in his own way.
PLUS – Performance of the lead pair, direction. Music deserves a standing ovation.
MINUS- Logic is defied when the lady is not able to identify her husband in disguise. ( But we never want any logic in movies. So don’t get upset over this Yash).
Ratings : 8/10
Verdict : Redefines the meaning love. A must watch for people of all ages.
Pyaar ke yehin raasthe mein, hum phir milenge chalthe chalthe.
Ash
Star cast
King Khan ( I recommend all the Hollywood stars to watch this movie and learn what is the meaning of acting).
Anushka Sharma – A pretty 19 year old girl who has acted so well that it looks as though she has been acting for the past so many years. A great future is in the offing for this young girl.
Story line – A simpleton from Punjab marries, by circumstances, a girl who has lost her loved one . His love for her does not get reciprocated as the girl no more believes in love .The story is all about, to what extent the man goes to make his wife happy and eventually win her love in his own way.
PLUS – Performance of the lead pair, direction. Music deserves a standing ovation.
MINUS- Logic is defied when the lady is not able to identify her husband in disguise. ( But we never want any logic in movies. So don’t get upset over this Yash).
Ratings : 8/10
Verdict : Redefines the meaning love. A must watch for people of all ages.
Pyaar ke yehin raasthe mein, hum phir milenge chalthe chalthe.
Ash
Saturday, January 10, 2009
LETTER TO MR RAMALINGA RAJU
Dear Mr Ramalinga Raju
( Former Chairman Satyam )
I have been closely following the events happening at Satyam over the past few days. I am writing this letter not to support you or to swear at you. I would have definitely sweared at you had I been one among the half a million shareholders or one of the poor 53000 ( hopefully this number is correct) employees.
I have completed my CA and understand what it takes to bring up a business to the level you have brought from scratch over the past 20 years. I am sure you would have faced so many hurdles in making Satyam one of India’s most wanted companies. I still remember having seen the joy on one of my friends face when he got placed in Satyam, Chennai. It was as though he had conquered the world. That was the kind of respect and opinion people had about your former baby till that dreadful morning of Jan 7th. Few weeks back I had started on the journey of studying the lives of successful Indian entrepreneurs and the third study I made was about you Mr Raju ( after Mr Dirubahai Ambani and Mr Narayana Murthy ). I admire people who have believed in themselves and turned around themselves and the world around them. I admired you Mr Raju. I know you come from a village with a humble background .I need not glorify what all you have done. The numerous awards you have won over the years stand testimony for that sir.I also appreciate your philanthropic work of Byrraju Foundation . Well done to have come up this far Raju..
Greed is the mother of all misfortunes in life Mr Raju. What else did you need in lIfe. You were one of the most powerful man in this world . What did you not have in life Mr Raju to have done something like what you did. The tips that you would have paid your chauffer might have been more than my salary. Why did u want more. See the impact of your letter Raju. India is shocked. The image of the country has gone for a beating. Can you restore it. The money of investors has gone down the drain and may be with that , their peace and also their family happiness . Can you give them back that ?? There are 53000 people who trusted you . They are young IT professionals whose careers are hanging in the hands of fate. Can you resurrect their careers ?? Then there are customers, suppliers, bankers, and a host of such people. In some way or other all these sections are shattered and broken with this act of yours. What are you going to do for them now.
Do you know the pain I had when I went through the letter you had written. My friend sitting besides is a shareholder and all that he told me was- “ I have lost 25,000 rs in 10 minutes”. This might not be a big sum for you Mr Raju. But definitely it is our hard earned savings Sir.
I have one last question for you Mr Raju – By this act of yours , WHO IS BENEFITED ? ?. You ??? No,. You are going to spend rest of your life in some jail. Your family ?? No. Can your wife and children be happy without having you around. The shareholders , employees and others connected with Satyam – No. It will take a long time for all of them to get their smiles back. Then why the hell you did this Raju.
I am deeply saddened , hurt and ashamed by your act. I am echoing the sentiments of the entire country.
Good luck for your day and night interrogation sessions.
( Former Chairman Satyam )
I have been closely following the events happening at Satyam over the past few days. I am writing this letter not to support you or to swear at you. I would have definitely sweared at you had I been one among the half a million shareholders or one of the poor 53000 ( hopefully this number is correct) employees.
I have completed my CA and understand what it takes to bring up a business to the level you have brought from scratch over the past 20 years. I am sure you would have faced so many hurdles in making Satyam one of India’s most wanted companies. I still remember having seen the joy on one of my friends face when he got placed in Satyam, Chennai. It was as though he had conquered the world. That was the kind of respect and opinion people had about your former baby till that dreadful morning of Jan 7th. Few weeks back I had started on the journey of studying the lives of successful Indian entrepreneurs and the third study I made was about you Mr Raju ( after Mr Dirubahai Ambani and Mr Narayana Murthy ). I admire people who have believed in themselves and turned around themselves and the world around them. I admired you Mr Raju. I know you come from a village with a humble background .I need not glorify what all you have done. The numerous awards you have won over the years stand testimony for that sir.I also appreciate your philanthropic work of Byrraju Foundation . Well done to have come up this far Raju..
Greed is the mother of all misfortunes in life Mr Raju. What else did you need in lIfe. You were one of the most powerful man in this world . What did you not have in life Mr Raju to have done something like what you did. The tips that you would have paid your chauffer might have been more than my salary. Why did u want more. See the impact of your letter Raju. India is shocked. The image of the country has gone for a beating. Can you restore it. The money of investors has gone down the drain and may be with that , their peace and also their family happiness . Can you give them back that ?? There are 53000 people who trusted you . They are young IT professionals whose careers are hanging in the hands of fate. Can you resurrect their careers ?? Then there are customers, suppliers, bankers, and a host of such people. In some way or other all these sections are shattered and broken with this act of yours. What are you going to do for them now.
Do you know the pain I had when I went through the letter you had written. My friend sitting besides is a shareholder and all that he told me was- “ I have lost 25,000 rs in 10 minutes”. This might not be a big sum for you Mr Raju. But definitely it is our hard earned savings Sir.
I have one last question for you Mr Raju – By this act of yours , WHO IS BENEFITED ? ?. You ??? No,. You are going to spend rest of your life in some jail. Your family ?? No. Can your wife and children be happy without having you around. The shareholders , employees and others connected with Satyam – No. It will take a long time for all of them to get their smiles back. Then why the hell you did this Raju.
I am deeply saddened , hurt and ashamed by your act. I am echoing the sentiments of the entire country.
Good luck for your day and night interrogation sessions.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
